They’re not as young as they used to be, so on their birthday, they should laugh a little further.
The truth is that as you age, you get better. She once said, “Unless you’re a banana.” Additionally, we discover that as we age, we value a good laugh even more, even if it comes in the form of a fine old-age roast. We put together this list of funny birthday lines and wishes for friends and family, whether it’s their 16th or 60th.
If you want to make a personalized birthday card, post a birthday tribute on Instagram, or find the funniest words to go with that thoughtful birthday gift for her or him, these birthday wishes and zingers will make you laugh out loud. So get ready to make them laugh, which will be the “icing on the birthday cake” of their day.
Funny Birthday Wishes for Friends
- At your age, everyone knows that when you say you’re going to get drunk on your birthday, you mean the cake.
I think your birthday wish was to get Taylor Swift passes. So, good luck with that. Have a great birthday!
Congratulations, you’re now old enough to get a driver’s license! But do you eat avocado? - Happy birthday to someone who isn’t old enough to do anything fun legally.
- What does it matter that you’re not a spring chicken 😣? Have a great birthday!
- “What did the fish say when it swam smack into the wall?” “Dam, you’re old.” Have a great birthday, friend.
- Sending birthday thoughts to my favorite travel companion… We seriously love going around the sun with you.
Quality antiques, wine, cheese and whiskey are some of the few things in the world that get better with age. In what way did you think I was going to talk? Best wishes on your birthday!
Go ahead and knock. Who is there? Good morning, bee. Who is the happy bee? Thanks for the wishes! - I hope you have a great birthday. Could you repeat the story about how things were in the 100s?
Funny Birthday Messages for Him
- Happy birthday to the most fungus 🍄 I know.
Enjoy your beer today, buddy.
You can have more fun with birthdays and golf if you don’t attempt to keep score. - You’re extinct, but at least you’re not extinct!
- Avoid feeling down about getting older at all costs. It’s way too hard to get back up!
- Let’s celebrate this birthday the same way you celebrated the last one: by yelling and being naked.
- Congratulations on your birthday to a guy who doesn’t look or act his age.
- Feeling older? No doubt about it. Wiser? It’s not so much. Many happy returns, brother!
- As you get older, your back will start to get hairier than your head.
- You have a birthday today! Now you’re one year closer to being that old man who tells kids to leave his yard.
- Have a great birthday, old man. I’m glad you’re still living and baking!
Don’t worry if someone tells you you’re old on your birthday. You can hit him with your cane and throw your false teeth at him.
Don’t think of it as getting older; think of it as getting better. Best wishes for a wonderful year ahead! - I already told the fire department about it, so go ahead and blow out the candles on your cake.
- The best thing about getting older is that you didn’t do as many stupid things around the internet. Let’s toast to another trip around the sun!
- Have a great birthday, big guy! Make sure you iron that party suit before you wear it.
- If it helps, you’re only getting better as the years go by. Have a great birthday!
- Come on in. Who’s there? Hi, Abby. Who is Abby? Happy birthday, Abby!
Funny Birthday Messages for Her
- Have a great birthday, my ride or die! When we get old enough, I can’t wait to scare the nursing home with you!
If you want to stay young, you need to fake an age and stick with it.
Is it hot in here? It has to be all the candles on your cake. - I hope to be a great woman like you one day. But, of course, dressed better. Have a great birthday!
- How do two friends who like pickles celebrate each other? Of course, they love their birthdays.
- Happy birthday to the “she” in my “nanigans”!
- I can remember your birthday without Facebook, so happy birthday to one of the few people I know.
Do not think of them as gray hairs. They look like strings of birthday glitter coming out of your head.
On your birthday, remember that getting Botox is never a bad thing. - Another birthday spent together. You know we’ll stay friends until we’re old and stupid, right? After that, we’ll be friends!
- For now, you seem young and fun. Next, you have a favorite stove burner. Which one is yours?
- You look twenty years younger. From far away. With my eyes closed. Have a great birthday, friend!
- I was going to get you something really great for your birthday, but then I remembered that you already have me.
Happy Birthday to someone who is like good cheese and wine. You get better as you age, woman!
Remember this on your birthday: you only look as old as the last selfie you took. - You can cry at your birthday party if you want to, but I don’t think you should. You don’t want your mascara to run tonight because we’re going to take a lot of pictures.
- Let’s face another year of making bad choices! Rock star, happy birthday!
- Queen, happy birthday! People would never guess that you are younger than you say you are.
- It’s funny that you just turned the right age. You know when you’ve done something wrong, but you’re still young enough to do it again.
Famous Funny Birthday Quotes
- Readers of history books who read about events they lived through will know they’re getting older. “Will Ferrell”
“Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.” Thank you, Bob Hope
“Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty.” That was Joan Rivers. - “It’s a birthday cake, use candles.” “Someone is drunk in the kitchen because you put candles in a pie.” “Jim Gaffigan”
- “Older you are when you get that one candle on the cake.” “Have a go at blowing this out.” …Springfield
- “Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” This is Charles Schulz.
- “Age has nothing to do with body or mind.” It doesn’t matter if you don’t mind.” Writer Mark Twain
- “I trust people to be loyal.” When a woman likes her age, she should stay that way. “Eva Gabor”
- “You can live to be hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” This is Woody Allen.
- “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” Thank you, Bob Hope
- “Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” “Will Rogers”
- Honesty, slow eating, and lying about your age are the keys to keeping young. …Lucille Ball
When you get older, you get better. Not unless you’re a banana.” …Betty White
“I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.” George Burns - “I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.” ……Phyllis Diller
- “There is still no cure for the common birthday.” Hi, John Glenn.
- “A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.” …..Erma Bombeck
- “Men take the day off on their birthdays.” It takes a woman at least three years off every time she has a birthday. ….Joan Rivers
- “Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.” …Truman Capote
- “Inside every older person is a younger person—wondering what the hell happened.” “Terry Pratchett”
Funny Short Birthday Messages
- Beyond the hill is better than inside it.
This old age thing is easy (and a few more candles help).
You’re not past your prime. You are just the right age. - Life has been fun for you for as many years as you’ve been alive.
- That’s great that you were born a long time ago.
- You turning one year older would make me much happier if I were in your will.
- Happy one year closer to leaving the workforce!
Scientists have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.
When you turn one more year old, you get one step closer to Velcro shoes. - What goes up and up but never goes down? How old you are.
- Happy birthday! (I hope that wasn’t too CHEESY.)
- Just so you know, you’re not old; you’re just great.
- You’re not as old as you’ll be next year, though.
- When being careful is the only thing you do, you know you’re getting old.
- Again, happy 29!
- Don’t forget that age is just a number. In your case, it’s a VERY BIG number.
- I meant to get you the best birthday present ever, but the gift box is too small for me.
Hilarious Belated Birthday Messages
- I’m sorry I missed your birthday. It’s not acceptable!
Don’t think this birthday present is too late. It’s already pretty early for next year.
It was your birthday, and it was over. These are the wishes I meant to send. - Happy Birthday Late! That’s how old you’ll be when you understand how hard it is to remember things.
- Many people wished you a happy birthday yesterday, but who is thinking of you today? That’s right, me!
- The reason this card is late is on plan. Now your birthday lasts the whole month!
- I wish I could have been there to help you mourn the loss of your youth. Happy Birthday Late!
- I want to wish you a happy birthday now that everyone else has done so.
- I didn’t forget about your birthday; I just wanted to keep it a secret.
- I’ll be the last person to wish you a happy birthday.
- I’m sorry that my birthday wishes are late. I thought you wouldn’t last this long.
- Bdays are always remembered by friends! But sometimes they remember very slowly.
You might think this birthday card is a few days late, but I have to tell you something. This is your 2015 present that I just now got around to sending.
I’m sorry I missed your birthday! This year, I promise it won’t happen again. - Happy Birthday Late! I guess people who wait do get good things.
- Being late with my card was just something I did to make it stand out.
- Sorry these birthday wishes are a little late—they were filled with so much love and good vibes that they took a while to get to you.
- Even though I forgot your birthday, I didn’t forget that I forgot!
- Okay, I might have forgotten your birthday. But how will I remember if you never get older?
- If you wish someone a happy birthday late, just eat more cake. You don’t even need to say thanks!
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