The times have changed, and parenting styles that were acceptable to baby boomers may not necessarily be acceptable to parents of today’s millennial generation.
Millennials are the first generation of parents
The Millennial generation is the first generation of parents to have grown up in the digital era, and it is evident in their parenting styles. In comparison to their parents, parents of today have access to a limitless amount of knowledge, and they also hold themselves to a different set of norms with regard to parenting.
Some baby boomers may make fun of the touchy-feely, soft parenting style that is prevalent now; yet, these tendencies have emerged as a result of increased understanding of child development and the effects of childhood trauma. A significant number of parents in today’s society are of the opinion that the first step in bringing up children who are polite and kind is to treat them with kindness and respect.
Because of the shifting economic situation, parents are also experiencing increased levels of financial stress. Over the course of the next three years, the average cost of a week of daycare will increase by 13%, indicating that the expense of childcare is continuing to climb.
The average amount of money that families spend on childcare today is 24 percent of their income, which is more than three times the amount that the Department of Health and Human Services considers to be reasonable, which is 7 percent.
Because of this issue, as well as the fact that parents are working longer hours and spending more time caring for their children, it should come as no surprise that the mental health of parents is deteriorating. In August, the United States Surgeon General Vivek Murthy released a recommendation about the mental health of parents. In his statement, he cited “an intensifying culture of comparison” as one of the pressures that are weighing on parents. This culture causes parents to report much greater levels of stress compared to those who do not have children.
Parents in today’s society are undoubtedly searching for support wherever they can get it, whether it be online or within their own groups of family members. Grandparents frequently have the desire to be of assistance, but they may find it difficult to cope with the numerous ways in which parenting has evolved since they were parents themselves.
To find out what millennial parents wish their parents understood, we invited them to share their thoughts with us. Listen to what they had to say about it.
Times have changed.
As a result of the fact that the world is a different place than it was when we were growing up, parenting must adjust accordingly. As a result of the insane mental load and the fact that both parents are often required to work, the “traditional” family life that the most of us were raised in is no longer relevant (for the majority).
Any statements that begin with the phrase “when you were young,” regardless of how well-intentioned they may be, contribute to the feelings of parental guilt that arise from the fact that you are not able to be present for your child one hundred percent of the time as a mother or that you are unable to provide financially on your own as a father. It is Lesley Cox.
When it comes to issues of financial instability, maintaining a healthy work-life balance, and dealing with the pressures of social media, millennials are navigating a new world. Even taking into consideration the effects of inflation, being a parent in this day and age is far more challenging than it was in the past, particularly in terms of the expenditures involved. Expenses related to child care are exorbitant, which contributes to stress.
The millennial generation wishes that their parents recognized that the obstacles of parenting children in today’s world are different from those of the past in terms of economics, society, and culture, and that comparing things to the “way things were” might appear to be invalidating. Dr. Mona Amin, Ph.D.
We expect an equal partnership.
There are a lot of folks who are in their sixties who are so impressed by our spouses and how much they contribute to the upbringing of our children. They are thinking to themselves, “Oh my goodness, they are the best dad!” There is also the fact that I have a wonderful husband, and he is a wonderful father, but it’s like, sure, because he does the same things that I do. I am also a wonderful mother. However, there are a lot of compliments directed toward males, which I find to be quite amusing.
She is saying something to the effect of, “Your dad didn’t change a single darn diaper.” her generation. In any case, I would not have allowed that to pass. Absolutely insanity. The only thing I’m doing is pointing out that she’s doing it: “No, mom, this is called a partnership.” The fact that he is performing as expected does not result in him receiving a party.'” It was Taylor Wolfe.
Sometimes you need to expand the village.
The fact that my parents recognize the significance of being a “village” and offering assistance to me in caring for my children and family is something that I have experienced. Having said that, I do wish that they were aware of the fact that not all assistance is required to originate from the family. In order to ensure that every member of the family is able to get some much-needed rest, it is sometimes necessary to recruit outside assistance. A nanny, a babysitter, or a childcare center might be the place.
My parents are of the opinion that I should not be responsible for paying for the assistance if they are there. The problem is that, just like my husband and I, our parents require a break, and we know and appreciate that they require one. It is a tremendous privilege and an additional price that is well worth it if we are able to obtain assistance from other sources and have access to it. There is no need to feel guilty about sharing responsibilities. It was Mya Morenzoni.
It would be wonderful if my parents were aware of the fact that we need to parent in a very different manner than they did in the past. It is necessary for us to have compensated assistance in parenting, whether it be a nanny or an au pair. The community is accessible, yet there is a need for it.
We speak openly about mental health.
A significant number of millennials place a high priority on their own mental health as well as the emotional well-being of their children. Furthermore, they embrace treatment, mindfulness, and open communication on mental health. The children want their parents to understand that mental health is not a taboo subject, but rather an essential component of the process of bringing up resilient and happy children.
More is expected of us.
“Getting my parents to comprehend that things that were ‘good enough’ or ‘fine’ for me or my siblings are no longer acceptable is one of the most difficult challenges that I have encountered.
It’s simply that there’s a lot more participation in everything from the food kids eat to the homework they do to the sports and extracurricular activities they participate in and even what they watch. It is also partly assumed that parents of millennials would be overly active in their children’s life, which is a weird thing to consider.
We place a high value on experiences.
“We are committed to making memories that will last a lifetime for our children and for ourselves. Vacations, whether they are taken with or without children, should be given the same level of importance as any other aspect of life.
We respect our children and give them autonomy.
“There is one thing that I wish our parents knew, and that is that we treat our children with respect, and that we recognize that they are human beings who are permitted to express their feelings. If you want to educate children how to be polite individuals, I believe that the greatest way to do so is to show them respect yourself.
That includes enabling them to express their feelings and also apologizing to our children in the event that there is a circumstance in which I believe I may have handled it in an inappropriate manner. If it is not possible for me to constantly be expected to regulate my own emotions, then how can I be unhappy that my children are unable to control their feelings? Therefore, it is OK for my children to have terrible days.
The phrase “Mama, I don’t agree” is appropriate for them to use. We give them the freedom to decide who they want to embrace and who they do not want to touch without interference. This is the difficult talk that we have had with our parents since the way that they want to raise our children is different from how we want to raise them. I am not going to argue with my mother or my in-laws at this point; rather, there is a dialog that takes place after the fact:
“Hey, do you realize how you responded in this moment? I’m not going to refer to my child as a crybaby. I’m not going to advise them to stop sobbing or to have some self-control. The terminology that we are employing is different.'”
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