AITA for telling my younger brother to fo and he can't be everyone's favorite and that I wish he wasn't my brother?

Family dynamics can be complicated, especially when siblings feel they’re being treated differently. For one teenager, the imbalance in attention at home had been building quietly for years, creating frustration he struggled to keep inside.

While his younger brother received constant praise for sports and was often excused from responsibilities, the teen felt his own interests—gaming and coding—were brushed aside by the very people who should support him. The situation eventually exploded into a heated argument that divided the family and sparked a lively debate across social media about favoritism, sibling rivalry, and what fairness really looks like at home.

AITA for telling my younger brother to fo and he can't be everyone's favorite and that I wish he wasn't my brother?

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The frustration had been quietly building for years as the older brother watched the praise flow toward someone else:

I (16m) have a younger brother (14m) and he's our parents and our grandma's favorite. I'm grandpa's favorite but I think it's only

because he knows I don't get treated the same and would be totally overlooked if he didn't favor me and show me the attention he does.

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My brother gets whatever he wants, he's praised for doing nothing and every time he does something, like help with a football game, he gets spoiled rotten and praised for...

When he said he wanted to go pro when he's older our parents and grandma were all for it and said he was so amazing and how great it is...

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Even everyday responsibilities seemed to highlight the difference in expectations between the two brothers:

My brother can say he's not feeling the best and asks if I'll take over our chores and our parents expect that. But even if I'm sick I'm expected to...

and if I ask him to take mine over because I'm sick he says no and they scold me for trying to get out of my responsibilities. My parents don't...

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The three of them say pretty often that I should be more athletic like my brother and they told me if I played football or basketball I'd be more interesting...

and code and that's not something they can get behind. Grandma even said she would never support my wish to see if I can make a career out of them

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and there would be no more gifts ever if I decided to become "one of those weird people who games on the internet for money". My brother is always asking...

He's always unhappy when I don't support him at football but he brushes off whenever I try to talk about the favoritism to him.

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He expects everyone to be so one sided and he's 14 and younger than me and I get we're both still really young but f__k that. Why do I have...

Things became even more tense when the teen’s grandfather stepped in and showed support:

It actually caused a huge fight when grandpa started to support my interest. He bought me some retro consoles and games and stores them at his and grandma's house for...

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I go over when everyone else is going crazy for my brother and play them. Grandma hated that because she didn't like their house being used for supporting "that kind...

My brother found out about them because grandma told him and he got jealous. Then he asked grandpa to let him play and grandpa told him they're mine and nobody...

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That moment sparked the argument that pushed the older brother past his breaking point:

My brother was mad about that and said it's not fair that I get to be grandpa's favorite and he shouldn't treat us so different. This is where I was...

I told him to f__k off because he can't be everyone's favorite and that he has our parents and grandma so the least I can have is one person who...

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My brother taunted me and said I was jealous and that I shouldn't talk to him like that. So I told him to f__k off again only I was angry...

Now he's upset, our parents are mad and grandpa is fighting them and grandma. My brother's like you're still my brother and I told him he's selfish and never wants...

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Family favoritism is one of the most common sources of long-term sibling conflict. When one child repeatedly receives more praise, attention, or leniency, the other can start to feel invisible or undervalued. Over time, those feelings can build into resentment, especially during teenage years when identity and self-worth are still developing.

In this case, the teen’s frustration appears tied not only to chores or privileges but to emotional validation. His interests—gaming and coding—are dismissed while his brother’s athletic ambitions are celebrated. From his perspective, the unequal treatment makes it seem like his talents simply don’t matter to the people closest to him.

Relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman has often emphasized how powerful parental support can be in shaping a child’s confidence. As he notes, “Children thrive when parents notice and validate who they are.” When that validation consistently favors one child’s abilities over another’s, it can unintentionally create rivalry rather than connection between siblings.

That doesn’t mean the younger brother is entirely responsible for the tension. Kids who grow up receiving constant praise can come to expect it without realizing how it affects others. The real responsibility often lies with the adults setting the tone in the household.

If this family wanted to ease the tension, communication would be a strong starting point. Parents could make an effort to recognize both children’s strengths—whether that’s athletics or technical interests. Encouraging shared respect between siblings and acknowledging each child’s unique path can go a long way toward rebuilding trust. Meanwhile, having a supportive figure like the grandfather may help the teen maintain confidence in the meantime.

See what others had to share with OP:

Many users supported the teen, saying his frustration seemed understandable after years of favoritism.

lady-stardust1966 − It's evident your parents are to blame for this. You are both still young boys. They should be encouraging you both. Not favoring your brother. Well done Grandpa!...

Little-star-Cat − Nta. I already see that you will go low or no contact with your family (not grandpa, he sounds great) when you're an adult. I'm really sorry that...

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Kindly_Caregiver_212 − Nta just remember you can actually get a good job based on coding and make a decent salary. Your brother prob won't make pro like your parents think...

Silvermorney − Nta at all you were absolutely right about literally everything you said when you called him out perfectly! He CANNOT be everyone’s favourite

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Others offered a more balanced view, pointing out that both brothers are still young and influenced by the adults around them.

mintchan − NTA, but your parents are. You and your brother may end up hating one another and it’s all their fault.

Secret_Double_9239 − NTA but maybe just give the rest of them the bare minimum. Don’t entertain conversations with them and just focus on you.

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Awesome_Forky − NTA Hold onto your grandpa. And gaming and coding are really cool hobbies and yes coding definitely is a great career path!

Common-Dream560 − NTA and I think grandpa likes you for you and doesn’t like your brother’s entitled attitude.

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Ice_bear_789 − Once you're 18, be prepared/don't be afraid to cut off the rest of your family, it seems like the only one who you can rely on is your...

Some commenters even tried to lighten the mood with humor while acknowledging the tension.

MattDaveys − “You might be my brother, but you’re 100%, without a doubt, not my favorite brother. Maybe one day I’ll get to meet him.” NTA

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MildLittlRain − Don't worry. You're the one who's gonna make it in life. Brother won't survive out there.

SweetBekki − Generational assholes. Your grandma is an AH for enabling your parent's enabling and brother's behaviour

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At its core, this situation highlights how painful perceived favoritism can be within a family. The older brother’s reaction came after years of feeling overlooked, while the younger sibling may simply be responding to the environment created by the adults around them.

With the grandfather stepping in to offer support, the story also shows how one encouraging voice can make a huge difference in a young person’s life. Still, the conflict raises a question many families face. If you were in this situation, would you have reacted the same way—or tried to handle it differently?

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