Am I wrong for telling this girl that I don’t want to see her anymore?

Ending a relationship is rarely easy, even when it’s still new and undefined. In this case, a 24-year-old man found himself questioning everything after deciding to walk away from a woman he had been seeing for just two months. At first, things felt promising, but subtle shifts in interest and a revealing conversation made him pause and reflect on what he truly wanted from a partner.

As the situation unfolded, it became clear that this wasn’t just about fading chemistry. Confessions about ambition, lifestyle choices, and future outlook raised deeper concerns, leaving him with a nagging feeling that something simply wasn’t right. When he finally chose to end things, her intense reaction only added to his uncertainty. The post quickly drew attention across social media, with many weighing in on whether trusting a gut feeling is reason enough to walk away.

Am I wrong for telling this girl that I don’t want to see her anymore?

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Everything seemed fine until a casual hangout turned into an unexpectedly revealing conversation about life goals.

I (24 M) have been seeing this girl (26 F) for about 2 months now. She is a good person and I really liked her at first, but recently I...

2 days ago while we were hanging out she mentioned to me that she really has no ambition to do anything different with her life even though she often complains...

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but I understand that change can be scary and really difficult, so I accepted and understood what she was saying even though I may not have agreed or had the...

Then came a confession that made his discomfort impossible to ignore.

She also mentioned that she does c__aine often which I’m not judging, but it just is not my thing and really alarmed me when she said it. I feel like...

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but I can’t shake the feeling that she’s just not a good match for me. It’s like this feeling deep down that for no real concrete reason is telling me...

When he finally decided to end it, the reaction caught him off guard.

I sent her a text today (2 days later) saying that I just wasn’t feeling like things would get serious and that I wanted things to end. She flipped out...

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Am I wrong for doing this? Has anyone else experienced this deep feeling that something isn’t right but you can’t pin down a real solid reason? Any feedback is appreciated.

EDIT: Thank you to everyone who is commenting and giving feedback on this. Pretty much everyone thinks that I did the right thing by ending it.

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I probably should’ve done it in person, but I just felt so so bad about the whole thing and felt like I needed to end it ASAP. You all have...

and I appreciate you for pointing it out as I needed to hear it. I am going to make steps toward improving that. I guess I just needed to hear...

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I don’t have a ton of experience with relationships as I’ve only had 1 serious girlfriend before and we dated for 4 years throughout college.

I’m new to the post-college dating scene and I’m navigating it as best I can. Thank you all very much and I wish you the best!

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At the heart of this situation is a classic early-dating dilemma: recognizing incompatibility before deeper attachment forms. The poster noticed misalignment in ambition, values, and lifestyle, all of which tend to become more important as relationships progress. While the relationship was short, the emotional conflict was very real, especially for someone new to dating after a long-term relationship.

From the other side, it’s understandable that the woman felt blindsided. Two months can feel significant, particularly if expectations were not clearly discussed. A sudden breakup via text can amplify feelings of rejection and confusion. Still, early dating is meant to explore compatibility, not to force connections that feel wrong.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman from The Gottman Institute has noted, “People are usually better off trusting their gut reactions early in relationships, because those instincts are often picking up on core value differences.” His research emphasizes that unresolved value clashes tend to resurface later with greater intensity.

A healthier approach in similar situations involves honest, timely communication. Ending things sooner rather than later can prevent deeper hurt, even if the delivery isn’t perfect. For those on the receiving end, it can help to remember that rejection is often about fit, not worth. For the poster, building confidence and trusting his judgment will be key as he continues navigating post-college dating. Growth comes from these uncomfortable moments, especially when handled with honesty rather than avoidance.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Many users supported the decision, arguing that early incompatibility is reason enough to walk away.

chaingun_samurai − Nah. Not wrong. You can break it off for any reason. Dropping a cokehead with no ambition is a very good one.

CunnyKat − You have only been dating 2 months. How serious could you guys have been. You're not wrong if you don't like someone or like things they do, then...

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Subject_Cranberry_19 − A feeling deep down for no concrete reasons? Not at all, dude. You gave two concrete reasons. 1) She is unambitious and has no firm plans for life.

2) She is a frequent c__aine user and complains of her finances. These sound like very good and specific reasons to not carry on with her.

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You’re acting like this is some big mystery as to why you feel this way when it’s obvious that she’s not compatible with you.

Are you wrong? Not in the slightest. What will you be missing out on? All the joy involved in watching someone’s c__aine use collide with their poor financial planning.

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Disastrous-Nail-640 − You’re not wrong. You don’t need a reason to stop dating someone. Sometimes you just know, even if you can articulate it. It’s been 2 months. It’s not...

likesomecatfromjapan − Not wrong. She sounds like a parade of red flags, but you wouldn't be wrong even if she were a parade of green flags because you're allowed to...

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Others offered more balanced takes, acknowledging emotions on both sides.

ChigurhShack − No you're not. People in their 20s need to stop trying to make everything work.

HappyOneToo − No. Y'all are not compatible. Nothing wrong with wanting what you want from your relationship (or not wanting).

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Neat_Lie5083 − I think it was nice to tell her rather than ghost her.

LavaBlades − You are not wrong for doing this in any way. The concerns you presented are completely valid, and definitely points of friction in your lifestyles. D__g use and...

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and if you have a gut feeling that things aren’t going well, then you should leave her. Also, her flipping out is also a sign you should leave her.

A few comments leaned into humor or blunt honesty to lighten the mood.

[Reddit User] − Ummm c__aine is an automatic no lmao

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Brunette3030 − Let me put this another way: Would you want your daughter to be exactly like her when she grows up? No? Then RUN AWAY AND DON’T LOOK BACK.

PureAlpha100 − Isn't this amazing? The coven of no accountability and self-righteousness has screamed at society so loud that average people have to disclaim that we're not judging an obvious,...

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Miss_Bobbiedoll − Not wanting to date a cokehead is neither wrong nor superficial. We need use judgment on people to determine what place they okay in our lives. Tell her...

termwarfare − Not wrong. You decide what color the flags are for you and you decide if you feel a connection. You have and that’s that. Given your examples, most...

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M_Looka − I sure wish that, back in the day, I was able to see this as clearly as you do. There were a few times when I was with...

and I began to get this strange feeling deep down that something just wasn't right. Usually this happened when things moved toward intimacy.

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Deep down, I started to get this feeling that I didn't want to be there. I'd try to talk myself into it, "Hey, you're just getting cold feet, getting a...

t'll pass. Come on! You're getting ready to have s__! This is what you want! " But it wasn't. You're sending yourself clear signals that you don't like this person....

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This situation highlights how quickly clarity can arrive when values don’t align, even in the early stages of dating. While the breakup method may not have been ideal, the underlying decision came from an honest place. Trusting intuition, especially when paired with concrete concerns, can save both people from deeper heartbreak later on. At the same time, open communication remains key to minimizing confusion and hurt. What do you think—should gut feelings be enough to end a relationship, or is a clearer explanation always necessary?

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