Are you ready for a good laugh? In this article, we will take a hilarious journey through some of the funniest texts that have circulated over the past few years. These messages will leave you in stitches, showcasing the humor and wit of people when communicating through texts. From autocorrect mishaps to clever comebacks, get ready to chuckle your way through these absolute gems
40 Absolute Funniest Texts
1. A change of name
Have you ever experienced those nights when you can’t sleep and your mind is filled with a flurry of ideas that seem to emerge from thin air? Well, this seems to be one of those instances. During this sleepless night, my train of thought fixated on Cinderella and how her name could have turned out quite differently if circumstances had been slightly altered. Surprisingly, upon reflection, it doesn’t seem all that odd to envision a princess named Mozzarella. In fact, it would simply evoke a persistent craving for the delectable cheese every single day.
2. One polite kitty
For numerous individuals, renting a house is the only option available. While there are several advantages to renting, it can be disheartening to discover that your beloved four-legged companion is not welcome in your new abode. This predicament seemed to pose a challenge for one tenant who was determined to include their cat in the lease agreement. After all, what harm could there be in asking? The worst-case scenario would be a simple “no.” Luckily, all it took was a charming photograph of the feline to persuade the landlord to grant official approval for the furry friend to reside in the rental property.
3. Say it one more time, I dare you!
Parents are always there to support us, even during the wee hours of the night when sleep eludes us. In a particular instance, a father found himself yearning for some delectable lightly-fried fish fillets and figured his child might also be interested. Being a loving and thoughtful dad, he extended an invitation to their child to join him downstairs and indulge in these mouthwatering treats. It’s worth emphasizing that these were indeed lightly-fried fish fillets. While it may not be a dish we typically consider preparing when we’re weary, the mere mention of it has ignited a sudden craving within us.
4. All the ravioli
It’s quite understandable to feel a sense of accomplishment when we overcome a particular challenge. Ravioli happens to be one of those delectable foods that can be irresistibly tempting once the can is opened. Why settle for just a couple of pieces when you can relish the entire serving? Someone simply couldn’t restrain themselves and sought to determine what it meant for them personally. The most amusing part? They were eager to share the exciting revelation that they were 0.8% ravioli with their friend, regardless of the late hour of 4 in the morning.
5. Keep the family safe
People have diverse approaches when it comes to safeguarding their homes. While some individuals opt for dogs as protective companions, others choose unconventional alternatives. In this case, the person decided to rely on an unexpected team of security guards—cats. Originally intended to provide mere companionship, these feline friends have now taken on the responsibility of keeping their family safe. Training cats to protect their owners may sound like a challenge, but starting with a stimulating environment, such as leaving WrestleMania playing in the background, could be an intriguing starting point.
6. The mystical green beans
While not everyone may be enthusiastic about cooking, most individuals are familiar with common vegetables found on the menu. However, in a peculiar incident, someone was so astounded by the affordable price of a particular vegetable—green beans—at the store that they felt compelled to message their friend about it at 1:11 am. The twist? The recipient of the message had no clue what green beans were, nor did they recognize the sender who reached out about this vegetable in the early hours of the morning. The ensuing confusion escalated rapidly, leaving both parties utterly bewildered and clueless about the bizarre turn of events.
7. The double smack
Some individuals possess such a great sense of humor that they find themselves unable to contain their laughter at their own jokes. However, it can be disheartening when others fail to appreciate their wit and comedic timing. Instead of waiting for validation, this particular jokester chose to revel in their own amusement. Their comedic endeavors were just getting started. Not only did they swiftly deliver their initial joke, but they also managed to follow up with another witty remark when their friend questioned the humor behind their “nice” comment. Their quick wit was clearly on display, leaving their friend pleasantly surprised by the successive punchline.
8. At one with the food
Discovering your favorite food often leads to the creation of unique nicknames for certain items. Some individuals affectionately refer to McDonald’s as the “Golden Arches,” while others playfully substitute “sprinkles” with the term “jimmies.” However, it’s quite unusual to encounter someone who humorously abbreviates “corn on the cob” as “COTC.” What adds to the amusement is how this out-of-context text seemingly materialized out of nowhere, leaving their friend utterly bewildered and confused. The combination of an unexpected nickname and the perplexing nature of the message itself generated laughter and amusement among those involved.
9. Name on the street
It’s important to consider the context of a question before providing an answer. In certain situations, such as when making plans to meet someone, when they ask for your “street name,” they are typically referring to your residential address rather than a nickname or alias associated with street credibility. Unfortunately, this nuance seemed to escape the understanding of the individual in question. However, their friend, realizing the confusion, sought to verify the correct address before embarking on a quest to locate the fictional street named “Lil Marco.” Clarifying the matter prevented any potential misadventures of searching for a non-existent street name.
10. The long-lost relation
It’s safe to say that many of us are familiar with the renowned artist Post Malone, thanks to his popular songs like “Sunflower” and “Better Now.” However, there was one person who hadn’t heard of Ho Malone. Curiosity arose as to who this individual could be. Could it be Post Malone’s undiscovered sibling? Or perhaps a new musical collaborator? As it turns out, the answer lies in a beloved Christmas classic that often resurfaces during the holiday season. To grasp the reference, it may require a moment of deliberate reading and slowing down of the name. Once you do, you’ll recognize that “Ho Malone” is a playful twist on “Jingle Bells,” capturing the festive spirit in an unexpected way.
11. Caught up in the moment
Indeed, there are occasions when we receive a text that appears completely nonsensical. Typically, we attribute such instances to the mischievous workings of autocorrect. However, in this particular scenario, it wasn’t a case of autocorrect gone wrong. Rather, someone was so enthused by the sight of a group of kindergarteners walking together, holding a rope, that they couldn’t resist sharing the moment with their friend. What left both parties puzzled was not the random text itself, but the fact that nobody questioned why the message simply read “baby chain,” despite having no apparent connection to the subject at hand.
12. Not quite everywhere
When it comes to gently rejecting someone’s romantic advances, it can be challenging to navigate the situation without causing discomfort. Luckily, the convenience of text messaging allows us to spare the awkwardness of face-to-face encounters and even inject a touch of humor into what would otherwise be an uncomfortable exchange. In this case, John swiftly grasped the message and understood that the feelings were not reciprocated. However, the person receiving the text was not ready to give up just yet. They still had plenty more strategies and approaches up their sleeve, determined to pursue their romantic interest further.
13. The concerned ghost
There was a time when people worldwide united in a shared endeavor to create various images using the characters on a keyboard. Whales often emerged as a popular choice, showcasing the creativity of individuals. This was a time before the widespread use of emojis as we know them today. In this era, someone ventured to craft a new character, resulting in a unique creation that unexpectedly resembles a concerned ghost. Once this comparison was made, it became the prevailing interpretation, and now, it’s difficult to see the character as anything other than a worried specter.
14. Scream for tomatoes
It can indeed be disappointing to discover that a store has run out of a specific item, especially when it’s a crucial ingredient for a desired meal. In this case, the person had their heart set on having tomatoes in their sandwich, but they took the situation in stride, seemingly accepting that sometimes things just don’t go as planned. However, a different issue arose when someone accidentally fell asleep on the keyboard and sent a lengthy and jumbled text, resembling a scream in written form. It’s unclear whether the sender was frightened to the extent that they felt compelled to scream, yet not so frightened that they couldn’t pause to send a text message. The unusual and unexpected text left both parties puzzled about the circumstances surrounding its creation.
15. It’s a smile
It’s commonly said that one is never fully dressed without a smile, but it appears that this sentiment was not what the child intended to convey in the message accidentally sent to her father. At first, her father seemed perplexed, unable to grasp the meaning behind the message. Meanwhile, Ashley likely believed that she had successfully escaped any consequences. However, her world soon crumbled around her, and it’s safe to assume that she experienced the repercussions of her actions. We can imagine that she didn’t see Dan’s smile for quite some time after that incident.
16. Whatcha doing?
It does make us ponder about the thoughts that cross landlords’ minds when they communicate with their tenants. In this particular instance, the landlord’s message raised curiosity as to why they were closely inspecting their tenant’s balcony. While they noticed something placed on the balcony, they couldn’t discern what it was precisely. As it turns out, the tenant’s method of securing painted papers with a plant pot proved to be too messy for the nosy landlord’s liking. The situation highlighted a clash of perspectives, with the landlord finding fault in the tenant’s chosen approach.
17. The ultimate affection
There are relationship goals, and then there’s this unusual yet intriguing idea. Let’s be honest, there’s a part of us that might feel tempted to try it with our significant other, right? There’s something whimsical and intimate about locking toes together—it’s a unique way to demonstrate love and connection. We can’t help but wonder if this particular couple eagerly rushed to attempt it as soon as they discovered their mutual desire to experience it. Please excuse us while we contemplate the concept of holding toes over here.
18. The troubles of adulting
Navigating adulthood can be challenging, especially when societal pressures attempt to dictate how we should live our lives. Trends like juice cleanses come and go, promising miraculous benefits. But can we truly sustain ourselves on just juice for a few days? Furthermore, the allure of becoming a social media sensation through hiking adventures may seem enticing. However, it’s important to recognize that things are not always as they seem on the surface. Only by delving deeper can we uncover the reality behind the facade of juice cleanses and hiking escapades. It’s crucial to peel back the layers and examine the true story behind the juice and hike experiences.
19. Cat in the tie
There’s an undeniable charm and humor in seeing animals dressed in human clothing, often bringing laughter to many of us. In this particular case, the intense gaze of the cat might be somewhat unnerving for some, but the addition of a tiny tie transforms them into an endearing and lovable sight. The person who discovered this snapshot was so delighted by it that they felt compelled to share it with their friend. Undoubtedly, an employee with such dedication to looking smart would make a wonderful addition to any office fortunate enough to have them.
20. In the blue heart zone
Discovering that your crush doesn’t reciprocate your feelings can be a disheartening experience. It’s unclear whether the person in question understood the significance of the different colored hearts or if they intentionally used it as an opportunity to express their emotions. Unfortunately, their attempt didn’t yield the desired outcome. Instead, they took the risk of putting their heart on the line by sending a red heart, only to receive a blue heart in response. It’s remarkable how emojis, seemingly harmless, can carry such a poignant message and evoke feelings of disappointment and rejection.
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Friend: “I just saw a squirrel do a backflip!”
You: “Are you sure it wasn’t a ‘squirrelicopter’?”
Mom: “Your dad and I are going to the gym.”
You: “Wow, I didn’t know you guys were on a date!”
Friend: “I’m so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open.”
You: “Well, maybe if you closed your mouth, they wouldn’t dry out!”
Friend: “I can’t find my phone. Can you call it?”
You: “Sure, let me get my psychic powers ready.”
Mom: “Did you eat the last piece of cake?”
You: “I plead the fifth… of cake!”
Friend: “I just realized I forgot to wear deodorant today.”
You: “Don’t worry, I’ll stand a safe distance away.”
Boss: “Why were you late for work again?”
You: “Sorry, I was trying to parallel park my elephant.”
Friend: “I’m thinking of becoming a vegetarian.”
You: “I guess that means no more ‘meating’ up for burgers.”
Mom: “What’s your plan for the weekend?”
You: “I’m planning to start a Netflix series and finish it in one sitting.”
Friend: “I just found out my cat has a secret life outside our home.”
You: “So you’re saying your cat is leading a ‘purr’-allel existence?”
Sibling: “Why are you always so sarcastic?”
You: “Oh, I’m sorry. Did the ‘sarcasm’ font not make it clear enough?”
Friend: “I’m on a diet, but I still crave junk food.”
You: “That’s why they call it a ‘die’-et. It’s a constant struggle.”
Mom: “I bought a new dress today.”
You: “That’s great! Now we can match at the ‘Mom and Me’ fashion show.”
Friend: “I’ve been binge-watching cooking shows, but I still can’t cook.”
You: “Maybe you should try watching ‘How Not to Cook’ instead.”
Boss: “You haven’t been meeting your deadlines lately.”
You: “I apologize, but the ‘procrastination fairy’ has been working overtime.”
Friend: “I just got a new job as a professional napper.”
You: “Wow, you must have aced the ‘dozing’ and ‘dreaming’ interviews.”
Mom: “Your room is a mess. When will you clean it?”
You: “I’m just waiting for it to become a historical artifact first.”
Friend: “I think I broke my personal record for the most cups of coffee in a day.”
You: “Congratulations! You’re now officially a ‘coffee-holic.'”
Sibling: “Can I borrow your charger?”
You: “Sure, but it comes with a ‘low battery warning’ after 10 minutes.”
Friend: “I can’t believe I lost my phone again!”
You: “Maybe it’s time to attach it to a giant inflatable balloon.”
Conclusion
Laughter is the best medicine, and these funny texts have certainly provided a healthy dose. Whether it’s through autocorrect blunders, clever comebacks, or hilarious misunderstandings, text messages have the power to bring joy to our lives. So the next time you find yourself in a humorous exchange, remember to appreciate the comedic value and share the laughter with others.
FAQs
1. Are these texts real or fictional?
The texts shared in this article are a mix of real and fictional examples. They represent common scenarios and humor found in text conversations.
2. Can I share these texts with my friends?
Absolutely! These texts are meant to be enjoyed and shared. Spread the laughter and brighten someone’s day with these funny exchanges.
3. Are there any precautions to take when texting to avoid embarrassing situations?
While it’s difficult to avoid all embarrassing situations, double-checking recipients, proofreading before sending, and being mindful of autocorrect can help minimize mishaps.
4. Can I use these texts as inspiration for my own funny messages?
Certainly! Feel free to draw inspiration from these texts to create your own humorous messages. Just remember to keep it light-hearted and consider the context and relationship with the recipient.
5. Where can I find more funny texts like these?
There are various websites, social media accounts, and online forums dedicated to sharing funny texts. Explore these platforms to discover even more laughter-inducing conversations.