He told her he preferred how she looked three years ago. And that one sentence was enough to make her question everything. A 5’2” woman weighing 120 pounds — well within a healthy range — was told by her boyfriend that she needed to lose weight because it “wasn’t attractive.” When they first started dating, she weighed around 100 pounds. Over three years, she gained about 20 pounds.
To her, it felt like a normal, gradual change. To him, it became a problem. So instead of arguing about diets or doubling down at the gym, she said something unexpected: if he doesn’t like her body, maybe they shouldn’t be together.
‘AITAH for telling my bf that we should break up if he doesn’t like my body?’
It all began with a very normal change over time:
A trip to the water park caused everything to explode:
After receiving hundreds of responses, she returned to update:
Gaining 20 lbs in 3 years, especially during early adulthood, is perfectly normal physiologically. The human body changes with age, environment, and activity level. At 5’2″ tall and weighing 120 lbs, the girl is still within a healthy weight range.
The issue here isn’t just the numbers. When someone says, “I liked your body better before,” and asks you to lose weight to be “more attractive,” the underlying message could be that your value is tied to your body shape. This can easily affect self-esteem and a sense of security in the relationship.
Marriage therapist Esther Perel once said that attraction in a long-term relationship cannot rely solely on a fixed image of the other person, because bodies and people are constantly changing over time. When someone only accepts your “old version,” it could be a sign of incomplete emotional maturity.
From another perspective, he might just be being frank about his personal preferences. However, the way you express your opinion is just as important as the content. A lasting relationship requires respect and subtle communication. When one party feels hurt, instead of calling them “irrational,” a healthier response is to listen and empathize.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
The online community almost unanimously sided with the girl.
Many emphasized that 120 lbs in 5’2″ is perfectly normal:
![[Reddit User] − 20 pounds in 3 years during those ages is literally nothing! !! 120 at 5'2 IS skinny, it's just not underweight. u r literally considered petite :/...](https://loknam.com/aita/images/2b7afcbfc4/wp-editor-1772508028757-2.webp)
Some people are questioning the long-term future:
![[Reddit User] − How old are you guys? 120 lbs is still pretty skinny. What's he going to do when you age or if you have kids? Nobody keeps their...](https://loknam.com/aita/images/2b7afcbfc4/wp-editor-1772508015318-1.webp)
Energetic comments also appeared:
Some people analyze the issue of emotional maturity as follows:
Some comments are encouraging and based on personal experiences:
Three years is a long time, but self-respect lasts even longer. What made her decide to leave wasn’t just the number on the scale, but the feeling of needing to “meet the standards” to be loved.
Ultimately, she not only kept the body she felt confident in—she also kept her right to be respected. If you were in a similar situation, would you consider that honest feedback or a sign that you should stop?
